It must be wonderful to view the world through the eyes of a toddler. Everything fresh and exciting and new. Every day bringing its own adventures. Laughing as you run away from your parents who are trying to stop you falling down a hole. What japes. Yes, we’ve moved firmly into the developmental period … Continue reading
Warning: Contains Game of Thrones and Seamus Heaney spoilers. Kind of. My wife is terrible at shooty computer games which, as you can imagine, puts quite a heavy burden on our relationship. It’s not that she can’t play these games, it’s more the crippling emotional guilt she feels in turning a collection of pixels red. … Continue reading
It’s funny the way we speak to kids sometimes. As a teacher I find myself using variations of the theme ‘man up’ at various points of the day. “Timmy won’t stop stealing my pencil case.” – man up… “I left my homework at home *sob*.’ – man up… “I don’t want to do PE because … Continue reading
In which Attila the Hun and a trout’s anus are used to illustrate the complexities of feeding an infant solid food and the nature of milestones. Milestones. Every part of life is fixated on milestones. They can be the intimate like that first kiss, the loss of virginity or the first time you actually understood … Continue reading
There is an overwhelming compulsion in humans to create order out of chaos. It goes someway to explaining the popularity of games like Tetris and Candy Crush Saga – there is a mess which is getting worse and your job is to sort it out. It also helps to explain the sense of satisfaction one … Continue reading
During April and May the heat of Thailand is oppressive. It is not the gentle warming heat of the Mediterranean, nor the dry stone heat of the desert. It is a rolling, viscous omnipresent force. It sits heavily on the shoulders, creeps under the skin and makes vigorous movement hard. Seed pods crack, plants … Continue reading
The boy turned one this weekend. One whole year in which we managed to not kill and/or seriously wound our offspring. As he grows older he becomes ever his own person, growing and showing hints of the man he will one day become. That man will, based on current indicators, be a psychotic being of … Continue reading
A recent article on the BBC pondered on whether or not people would choose to have amputations so their birth limbs could be replaced with bionic ones. Apart from sounding like a brilliant idea in itself (who doesn’t occasionally wonder what it would be like to have super strength) it opens up a huge … Continue reading
Tastehitch has now been ‘a thing’ for one year! Much has changed in twelve months. I left my twenties behind to grow ever closer to the icy grip of death, had a son (well…by proxy), became a writer of sorts and am preparing to be a dad for the second time. This humble little … Continue reading
Step 1: Ascertain if you actually need to change the nappy, sometimes it’s just wind. You’ll pray that it is just wind. A good sniff in the lower crotchal region of your baby (note, avoid doing in public) will give a solid indication. If it smells like the fetid stench of Beelzebub’s jock strap then you’re … Continue reading
